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Category Archives: Smack a Heretic You’ll Feel Better

Do You Have a Religion?

Sociologist Peter Berger (A Rumor of Angels, The Heretical Imperative) provided this insight in a 2006 lecture on “Lutheran Identity in America”:

This spirit [of Lutheran freedom] should above all give one a certain distance from one’s cultural context and thus protection against becoming captive to it. But in the current American situation, it seems to me that the two central ideas of Lutheranism could provide guidance . . . both for a critique of the current situation and for a constructive stance.

1. A conviction that salvation occurs sola fide and the much-maligned doctrine of the Two Kingdoms, which of course rests on the distinction of law and gospel. Those are two core Lutheran ideas, and I think they are tremendously important if there is to be a Lutheran identity and Lutheran witness in this socio-cultural context, and political context. Now in this perspective, I think, all . . . sectors of the current cultural and religious scene can be subsumed under the category of works righteousness, as a violation of the anthropological understanding that the Christian as simul justus et peccator. How so?

Well . . . against the tepid moralism and the utilitarian psychologism of mainline Protestantism, the Lutheran witness would  reiterate the core of the gospel, which is not a new law, however tolerant or relaxed, but the triumphant breaking in of redemption into the world. The gospel does not provide a new moral code or a therapeutic spirituality. . . .

[I]n Arabic, the same word din (deen) applies both to religion and to law . . . so if an Arab asks you, “What is your religion?” in fact he is asking, “What is your law?” And I think the Christian answer is, “I don’t have a law.” This is not what the gospel is. The gospel does not provide a new law or a therapeutic spirituality of some sort. Rather it testifies to a cosmic transformation inaugurated by the Resurrection of Christ and moving toward its ultimate realization in his coming again. . . . Of course, this does not imply an antinomianism in which everything is permitted. Let me refer here to another Lutheran idea, that of the Three Uses of the Law. But it sharply relativizes the moral codes of any society or any age.

Berger self-identifies as a Lutheran, but also as a theological liberal (and politically mildly conservative), so you may not be able to embrace his entire argument. I dare say, the use of historical criticism in studying the Scriptures may have been an act of intellectual or academic freedom (certainly Luther would have found it strange to attach his name to it); but it also brought with it certain presuppositions that did as much harm as good in understanding how the Scriptures were intended to be read by their human authors, to the extent such an investigation could prove fruitful or even possible. It is one thing to say that the gospel writers were rooted in a certain cultural context; it’s quite another to reduce them to it.

Found on the Gnesio Lectures & Sermons page.

 

Harold Camping Confirms: End Will Definitely Probably Come October 21 Unless It Doesn’t

I know I should probably just let this one go, because it’s just too easy, but if the Rapture is truly finally inevitably upon, I need to know whether I need to get my hair cut now or wait until Uncle Bob’s Hair Emporium offers its All Hallows Eve special.

Mr. Camping, the president of Family Radio, who is recovering from a stroke suffered shortly after his most recent failed prediction, left an audio message for his listeners, thanking them for their prayers for his recovery and following up on the most pressing issue of the moment:

I do believe that we’re getting very near the very end … we’ve learned that there’s a lot of things that we didn’t have quite right, and that’s God’s good provision. If He had not kept us from knowing everything that we didn’t know, we would not have been able to be used of Him to bring about the tremendous event that occurred on May 21 of this year, which probably will be finished out on October 21, that’s coming in very shortly. That looks like it will be — at this point — it looks like it will be the final end of everything

So two things can be gleaned from this statement:

1. Camping remains convinced that some kind of invisible Rapture — the equivalent of God’s closing the books on the saved and the lost — did in fact take place on May 21 and that he and his ministry, mirabile dictu, played a unique and awesome role in bringing it about. Even if nothing happened.

2. October 21 will usher in the end of everything — probably. Or at least “it looks like it will be.” Camping is obviously hedging his bets. Further Bible study will no doubt reveal why October 21 came and went with nothing changed, including some people’s utter gullibility in the face of someone else’s seeming authority — an authority that in this case is composed of little more than an eidetic memory for Bible verses married to a hubristic intransigence.

Camping also went on to reassure worried followers with unsaved loved ones that the miserable damned will not suffer when God takes his vengeance on the wicked, because the Lord does not delight in the death of anyone. (One wishes He took a little more delight in the vanquishing of stupidity, but that’s another story.)

The Christian Post (from which I cull post material frequently, as you may have noticed) offers a rather interesting insight from one observer:

This is coming from a man that is most likely a devout Christian that is scared of dying in a painful way & has convinced himself this is a more painless way to get to heaven. When I thought about it like that, I got a more sympathetic view of Camping.

I have no doubt that almost all Camping’s theology is rooted not in sound exegesis but his own personality quirks and past experiences with the church. This is a man who has to be right even when he is wrong, and if he has to end human history to prove it, so be it.

 

 

 

 

 

Are Lutherans Humor-Impaired? Or Mean? You Be the Judge!

So Father Hollywood, aka Larry Beane, is a confessional LCMS pastor down in NOLA. (If you’re reading this in Belize, then it would be up in NOLA.) He has a blog of his own and also contributes to the group blog Gottesdienst Online. (Gottesdienst is German for Weltanschauung. Oddly, Weltanschauung is German for “He who waxes on but not off.” I don’t get it either.)

Anyhoo, Father H noticed something he had not noticed before, that the LCMS.org church-locator feature includes a drop-down menu that allows you to narrow your church/parish search by “type of service.”

Here was his take on it:

This could be a helpful feature, considering the “box of chocolates” nature of our Synod — you never know what you’re going to walk into on Sunday morning. So, you might expect when you “filter by service” you would see certain fields in the drop-down box, maybe a list like this:

TRADITIONAL
CONTEMPORARY
BLENDED
AGING HIPPY
DANCING GIRLS
SMELLS AND BELLS
NAILS ON A CHALKBOARD
PAGE FIVE NO CHANTING
FRUITY EMERGENT RELEVANT Read the rest of this entry »

 

John Piper Says Yes to Moore

But does Beth Moore want you listening to John Piper?

I’m a guy. Is it wrong for me to listen to Beth Moore?

No. Unless you begin to become dependent on her as your shepherd—your pastor.

This is the way I feel about women speaking occasionally in Sunday school. We don’t need to be picky on this. The Bible is clear that women shouldn’t teach and have authority over men. In context, I think this means that women shouldn’t be the authoritative teachers of the church-they shouldn’t be elders. That is the way Rick Warren is understanding it, and most of us understand it that way.

This doesn’t mean you can’t learn from a woman, or that she is incompetent and can’t think. It means that there is a certain dynamic between maleness and femaleness that when a woman begins to assume an authoritative teaching role in your life the manhood of a man and the womanhood of a woman is compromised.

First of all, the interlocutor says “I’m a guy.” Says who? I don’t believe that for a minute. No guy goes on the Interweb asking another guy for permission to do anything other than kill the target. Can I have permission to listen to a girl. Please…

Now I listen to neither John Piper nor Beth Moore. First of all, I don’t listen to anyone who would tell me my baptism is not valid. Piper is a Baptist, and Moore isn’t any discernible thing except famous. That Piper is so sanguine about her teaching ability, whatever the forum, is disturbing.

As for my original question, Moore seems to be cool with Piper’s perspective:

I think Beth Moore would be happy with that answer. I’ve talked to her about this, and I think she would be OK with what I’ve said. Our paths cross at the Passion Conference every now and then, and we talk.

I say ignore them both. In fact, ignore anyone whose childhood home couldn’t be declared a national monument, or at the very least a neato museum. What about my pastor? What did I just say? That is what iPods are for…listen to MP3s of James Earl Jones reading the Smalcald Articles or something…

UPDATE: Joe Carter has just informed me, via comments, that in fact Pastor Piper would not tell me my baptism was invalid. So you can listen to John Piper a little. I said a little. (See also Bror Erickson’s commentary.)

 

15 Signs Your Pastor/Preacher Is a Nut Job

1. No one has ever seen that teaching in the Bible before he stepped onto the world stage.

2. Insists that all churches are dead. Church age has ended — either in early-era apostasy or late-stage heresy.

3. Harps on one issue week after week after week, such that it marks the totality of his ministry: tithing, End Times, abortion, gay marriage, faith healing, prosperity, women who wear pants.

4. Believes the Bible is inerrant, infallible, and without error IN THE ORIGINAL AUTOGRAPHS, which no one has ever seen, and so the only trustworthy translation is the KJV.

5. Insists believer baptism is only valid baptism. Those baptized as infants are not really Christians or are in a state of rebellion against God.

6. Teaches that speaking in tongues is only authentic sign of being “Spirit-filled” and thus born again.

7. Drives a car worth more than your house.

8. Teaches that Roman Catholics and Eastern Orthodox are not real Christians.

9. Teaches British Israelism.

10. Refers to all seminaries as “cemeteries.”

11. Teaches that Jesus can be Savior but not Lord, and any reference to good works is denounced with pat phrase “works righteousness.”

12. Believes premillennialism is the only biblical eschatological view.

13. Believes in double predestination AND that John Calvin was a heretic.

14. Autographs Bibles.

15. Is on his third wife and has no relationship with his kids.

 

Vatican Newspaper Calls ‘Angels & Demons’ Harmless, Historians Still Call It Crap

AD_INTL_1SHT_GLOW_2Knowing I intended to see Angels & Demons when it came out, I broke down and bought a pocket-size edition of the book so I could compare and contrast the original with the adaptation. Having never read Dan Brown before, I was curious as to whether the man could at least write.

I’m only 44 pages into this 710-page edition, but I have learned three things very quickly:

1. Brown’s prose style is bland and forgettable, with all the evocative power of a high school term paper on silt. Granted, I have just finished William Gibson’s Pattern Recognition, and so the bar for imaginative wordplay and arresting metaphor and simile is artificially high.

Compare, from their respective opening pages:

Robert Langdon awoke with a start from the nightmare. The phone beside his bed was ringing. Dazed, he picked up the receiver. “Hello?” “I’m looking for Robert Langdon,” a man’s voice said. Langdon sat up in his empty bed and tried to clear his mind.

Five hours’ New York jet lag and Cayce Pollard wakes in Camden Town to the dire and ever-circling wolves of disrupted circadian rhythm. It is that flat and spectral non-hour, awash in limbic tides, brainstem stirring fitfully, flashing inappropriate reptilian demands for sex, food, sedation, all of the above, and none really an option now.

Nuff said.

2. Brown knows how to get your attention quickly, moving the narrative and characters from scene to scene and plot point to plot point with relative ease and breathless pacing.

3. His grasp of both church history and the history of science is thimble deep — certainly no improvement on his understanding of theology or biblical studies characterized by his daft Da Vinci Code.

Witness:

“Since the beginning of history,” Langdon explained, a deep rift has existed between science and religion. Outspoken scientists like Copernicus –”

“Were murdered,” Kohler interjected. “Murdered by the church for revealing scientific truths. Religion has always persecuted science.”

Need I go on? Anyone can Google a fair response to such twaddle. And what Brown puts into the mouth of Langdon regarding Galileo is also rank nonsense — the man who would become Pope Urban VII was a patron and enthusiastic supporter of the scientist’s, knowing already of his Copernican and heliocentric sympathies. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Episcopal Priest Defrocked for Being a Muslim — Stunning Act of Religious Bigotry Denounced by People Who Run Around Denouncing Stuff

mar-08-atlanticThe intolerance of it all! So you can be an atheist in the TEC but not a Muslim, eh? Where is our freedom of religion? Where is our freedom of conscience? Where is that latte I put down on the counter two minutes ago?

Is this why our forefathers defeated the Belgians in 1536 to found a new nation? Is this why our first king, Egbert the Circumspect, went willingly to the gallows, aside from the whole incest thing? Is this why 400,000 American gallant soldiers fought in the trenches at Vermouth over that chick Samantha? Is it? Is it?

I have a good mind to join the Episcopal Church just so I can storm out in a huff! But I’d probably have to buy a new dress-up jacket, and I’m a little short right now …

 
 
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