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Category Archives: I Was Calamitously Misinformed

It’s Easter, So Let’s Call Christians Deluded

St. Sebastian, a Romney supporter

St. Sebastian, a Romney supporter

Given that it’s the most celebrated day in the Christian calendar, I knew a story intended to make Christians feel bad had to be lurking on the Web somewhere, and that my best bet of finding it would be on CNN.com.

It didn’t disappoint.

You see this scholar has finally destroyed the myth of Christian persecution in the first three centuries after Christ. It seems that Christians have been repeating ad nauseum for their own self-aggrandizing purposes that those first 300 years were nothing but a horror story of faithful followers of Christ being hounded by ruthless pagans, with relentless round-ups, limb-ripping, and ultimately execution for the faith.

Except . .  nobody was saying that. In fact, I have never read a history of Christianity, written by a Christian author, that did not emphasize that the early persecutions were periodic, some more intense than others.

But somebody’s gotta sell books. And in the age of the New Atheism and their band, the “Nones,” one way is to say that yet one more element of the Christian narrative is a fiction.

Why debunk this so-called myth now?

The debate over exactly how many Christians were persecuted and martyred may seem irrelevant centuries later. A scholarly consensus has indeed emerged that Roman persecution of Christians was sporadic, and that at least some Christian martyrdom stories are theological tall tales.

But a new book by Candida Moss, a New Testament professor at the University of Notre Dame, is bringing that message to the masses.

Moss says ancient stories of church persecution have created a contemporary cult of bogus Christian martyrs. She says too many American Christians are acting like they’re members of a persecuted minority, being thrown to the lions by people who simply disagree with them.

She cited former Republican presidential candidates Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum. Romney claimed last year that President Barack Obama was waging a “war against religion,” and Santorum said the gay community “had gone out on a jihad” against him. Other Christians invoke images of persecution when someone disagrees with them on controversial issues such as abortion or birth control, says Moss, whose “The Myth of Persecution” was recently released.

The problem with invoking persecution is it implies your opponents are evil  and no common ground can be found with evil,  Moss says.

“When someone is persecuting you” she says, “there is no room for dialogue.”

Sorry? This would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that some people are everything they say they hate.

Let me see if I get this straight: You want more dialogue and Christians’ claiming persecution is an obstacle to such dialogue. So you’re going to call out your opponents as, well, either lying or deluded as a means of . . . opening up dialogue.

And we all know, it’s only Christians who claim to be persecuted. And given their overwhelming numbers in the media and pop culture, they do have the power to silence opposition to their point of view.

I think you can see this for what it is: one more way for the secular left to shut Christians up. (Nota bene: I have no idea whether Candida Moss is a Christian or not. And frankly, what does it matter. The effect is the same. John Shelby Spong considers himself a Christian. I consider myself an astronaut, but NASA still refuses to reimburse me for my dry cleaning bills.)

To be fair, the article does go on to cite the actual martyrdom of Perpetua and also how Christians won converts mainly by the quality of their lives, not their deaths. And no one who has read deeply the literature of the earliest centuries would miss how some writers of martyrologies neurotically indulged in the grotesque when either describing the torments of the martyrs or the glories of martyrdom. There’s undoubtedly superstitious baloney mixed into the earliest chapters of the Christian story.

Again — who didn’t know this? But to say that Christians must stop invoking persecution altogether because — what? — of the fair-minded and evenhanded way they are treated in debates of cultural and political importance in this country? is, again and again, just another way to tell Christians to shut up.

When you seek to silence or to marginalize, repeatedly, a group of people for their beliefs — by, for example, calling them deluded or ignorant — beliefs, by the way, that were an integral part of the founding and development of this nation and that remain of extreme importance in the lives of a significant portion of the American populace, what shall we call this? Sure, it’s not on the level of being fed to the lions. But neither is it dialogue.

 

Temperance Lancecouncil, Anti-Hypocrisy Candidate, Pulls Ahead

Voting in Wilmington, Delaware.

… of Samm Tittle, the “One of Us for All of Us” candidate.

For those of you who are “pro-hypocrisy,” and so uninformed of Ms. Lancecouncil’s bid for the presidency, I give you several planks of her platform:

DEFENSE SPENDING
- Spending will increase 3-fold on the defense/military budget.
- Spending will be substantially increased in our space/NASA endeavors.

TAXES (CORPORATE/INDUSTRIAL AMERICA – GOVERNMENT’S ROLE IN PRIVATE ENTERPRISE)
- Tax cuts will not be rolled back to the most wealthy individuals in the society.
- Capital gains taxes will be reduced, based on applied tables.
- Taxes will or will not be raised, as warranted.
- Tax breaks and cuts will only be given to companies/corporations who are good, civic-minded corpoarations [sic] who work to recruit, hire, and train those off the welfare roles. (This, not at the expense of other traditional applicants.) Those who pay particular attention to urban and Appalachia areas will be considered most favorably.

The catch is the “applied tables.” I never know which tables apply to whom.

As for WOMEN’S PRODUCTIVE RIGHTS
- Current laws to remain in place for all adult women.
- Females between the ages of 16 and 21 years old shall be entitled to abortion-on-demand, with a limit of 2 within a 3-year period, under current state Medicaid / Medicaid financial guidelines. Parental notification is unnecessary, but these guidelines apply not to females under age 16yrs.

The emphasized bit may hurt her with the wilder set.

But I think she’s very good on homelessness:

HOMELESSNESS
- The homeless problem in America as we know it will end, as those who are mentally ill (via legislation) will be evaluated and appropriately housed.
- National vagrancy/tresspassing legislation will be enacted and enforced.

Note the balance.

I wouldn’t count Jack Fellure, the Prohibition Party candidate, out completely. After all:

Should I be elected to the Presidency, this Bible will be open on the desk in the White House Oval Office to Psalm 33:12, “BLESSED IS THE NATION WHOSE GOD IS THE LORD”, and also to II Samuel 23:3, “HE THAT RULETH OVER MEN MUST BE JUST, RULING IN THE FEAR OF GOD”. It shall never be closed during my tenure. I will take the inauguration oath of office with my hand on my Bible opened to Deuteronomy 28.

“It shall never be closed.” Like 7-Eleven. And Joe Biden’s mouth.

POSTSCRIPTUM: For those of you puzzling over how Mr. Fellure could have his Bible open to two verses from different books simultaneously, well, it’s obvious you do not know how to rightly divide the Word of God.

 

A Year of Living Plagiaristically

Man, once somebody comes up with a publishing gimmick, everybody and his nuncle runs it into the ground.

A few years back, a journalist named A.J. Jacobs, himself an agnostic, wondered what it would be like to live “biblically,” literally, for one year. (And by biblically, Jacobs meant as a biblical Jew hewing as closely as possible to the restrictions and prescriptions enumerated in the Hebrew Bible.)

From his website:

The Year of Living Biblically is about my quest to live the ultimate biblical life. To follow every single rule in the Bible – as literally as possible. I obey the famous ones:

  • The Ten Commandments
  • Love thy neighbor
  • Be fruitful and multiply

But also, the hundreds of oft-ignored ones.

  • Do not wear clothes of mixed fibers.
  • Do not shave your beard
  • Stone adulterers

Why? Well, I grew up in a very secular home (I’m officially Jewish but I’m Jewish in the same way the Olive Garden is an Italian restaurant). I’d always assumed religion would just wither away and we’d live in a neo-Enlightenment world. I was, of course, spectacularly wrong. So was I missing something essential to being a human? Or was half the world deluded?

I decided to dive in headfirst.

It’s been optioned for a movie. But you knew that already.

Now Rachel Held Evans, a member of the evangelical left, or a mainline Protestant, or a feminist Christian, or none of the above, has written A Year of Biblical Womanhood. Since evangelicals like to take the Bible literally (six-day creation) except when they don’t (“This is my body”), Evans decided to try and take the Scriptures at their Word about what biblical womanhood should look like. Read the rest of this entry »

 
 

Shock Jock Gives Up Act to Follow Christ. Bummer.

So Wally, a wacky DJ, a wanna-be Howard Stern, was a nice guy who “saw the good in everybody.”

That was mistake No. 1.

Then he got a great gig in radio as a drive-time DJ who looked for the negative hook in every story to drive his show and ratings. And he was good at being bad. He “couldn’t believe he was getting paid to do this job.” He would “sleep at the radio station.” But he was becoming “jaded and bitter.”

In short, being a mean-spirited smart aleck was taking its toll on his soul and affecting his marriage. Being a jerk was even more deleterious than than all the drugs he did.

So he decided to take two years off to “reconnect with God.” It proved just the right balm for his heart and mind, as well as for his family life.

But he was now out of money. So he went back to doing the only thing he knew how to do.

“You know this is going to mean that me and God are done for a while,” Wally told his wife.

So he went down to Atlanta, a “massive Heritage station,” but the world of big-time radio proved a den of iniquity, “a little bit of insanity, a little bit of debauchery, a lot of dysfunction, and that’s where my life went for a while. I still had my personal life where I’m teaching Sunday school…and the rule was ‘You can’t listen to my radio show…this is not good for you.’”

So he had a hard choice to make: God or gold. “You have to decide which man you’re going to be, and be that,” his long-suffering wife told him.

So he left mainstream radio and went into Christian radio. And it was all rainbows and hallelujahs.

Wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

 

Einstein: Religion Nothing More than ‘Childish Superstitions’

When most people think of Einstein’s conception of, or belief in, God, they often reference his “God does not play dice with the universe” comment. Based on this letter, soon to be auctioned on eBay, it is safe to say that Einstein’s notion of God bore no relation to traditional monotheism’s: “The word God is for me nothing more than the expression and product of human weaknesses, the Bible a collection of honorable, but still primitive legends,” he wrote in 1954.

Some people have tried to corral the great scientist into the broad category of “believing” scientists, despite the fact that there was exactly zero evidence that he used the noun as anything more than a metaphor. This letter should bring any lingering doubts, or hopes, to an end.

For me the Jewish religion like all other religions is an incarnation of the most childish superstitions. And the Jewish people to whom I gladly belong and with whose mentality I have a deep affinity have no different quality for me than all other people. As far as my experience goes, they are also no better than other human groups … I cannot see anything ‘chosen’ about them.

I can’t say I’m surprised. You simply are not going to find many traditional Christian or Jewish believers among the 20th century’s great scientists, great defined as having made a signal, significant, and enduring contributions in their field. There were exceptions: Lord Kelvin, George Salmon, Lamaître (who gave us the Big Bang, so to speak), Pollard (who believed God acted through “quantum indeterminancy”). Heisenberg and Planck were both raised Lutheran but died deists, apparently. There was also Dobzhansky, who thought “creation science” was bunk and signed the “Eugenics Manifesto,” so his picture’s probably not hanging in a lot of Orthodox homes. And there’s Francis Collins, the geneticist whose work on the Human Genome Project won him a National Science Award and many other honors. But to many, if not most, fundamentalist and confessional Christians, he’s an unperson.

This is not to say that Christians are not well-represented in the canon of great scientific minds—but most made their contributions pre-20th century. (Check out this list of Catholic clergy-scientists. You will have to scroll to China to reach the bottom.)

Back to Einstein: the opening bid is $3 million, so get out your credit card.

 

What Do MSNBC and the Iranian State News Agency Have in Common? Besides a Hatred of America, I Mean…

They’re both easily fooled. Last week I posted about how Paul Krugman of the Times and Lawrence O’Donnell over at MSNBC were taken in by a satirical piece published on Politico.com, referencing it as fact. Well, they shouldn’t feel so bad (at least not about that). The Iranians are not doing much better. Seems they mistook an article in the Onion, which makes stuff up in the pursuit of yucks (unlike MSNBC, which makes stuff up in the pursuit of bucks), for fact.

This FARS post from today (datelined Tehran) is a word-for-word copy of this article that went up on The Onion‘s website on Monday, headlined “Rural Whites Prefer Ahmadinejad To Obama,” joking that West Virginia voters would rather have a beer with the president of Iran than the leader of their own country. However, the FARS story does contain one slight omission— a phrase describing Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as “a man who has repeatedly denied the Holocaust and has had numerous political prisoners executed.”

Now anybody who knows anything about rural whites knows that they’re predominately premillennialist, and so are fans of Israel. Granted, that puts them in a tough spot when having to choose between Obama and Eimahjerkwad, but I’m guessing they’d give the edge to the president, because an American Muslim would be preferable to a foreign-born one.

IN OTHER NEWS: Muslims burn down Buddhist temples in Bangladesh because it has been a good two weeks since they’ve burned something down, and you just can’t sit around and wait for YouTube to produce something indecent in that regard.

 

Three Guesses Which Religion Is the Most Persecuted in the World, and No, It’s Not Knights of the Jedi

These stats and bar charts read like something out of 1984—if the Orwell classic had mentioned religion at all.

But I can’t say it comes as a great surprise. However, as Mollie Hemingway inquires in her Twitter feed: “Have the media done a good job telling us which religion is the most persecuted in the world?”

Now I know Mollie’s was a rhetorical question, but what the hey: all together now…one, two, three—NO.

Forget TBN and Harold Camping and Hal Lindsey and all the other professional doomsdayers. Here’s how you’ll know the end is nigh: the day MSNBC devotes five minutes to these numbers.

Hell, forget MSNBC, how about NBC, or CBS? Maybe, maybe, if PBS has an extra few minutes to fill on the NewsHour. And even then I bet they’d garble it up to blame the victims somehow…

But FOX might take this on, but only because it’s not a real news organization…

 
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Posted by on September 20, 2012 in I Was Calamitously Misinformed, Never Forget

 
 
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