Category Archives: Hail Fredonia!

Temperance Lancecouncil, Anti-Hypocrisy Candidate, Pulls Ahead

… of Samm Tittle, the “One of Us for All of Us” candidate. For those of you who are “pro-hypocrisy,” and so uninformed of Ms. Lancecouncil’s bid for the presidency, I give you several planks of her platform: DEFENSE SPENDING … Continue reading

Posted in Hail Fredonia!, I Was Calamitously Misinformed, I'll Vote for the First Man Who Says He's Not Fit to Govern, It's Like a Miracle | 4 Comments

Reagan Hologram “Disinvited” Due to Fears It Would Prove More Substantial Than Romney

It’s at moments like these that I can’t help but quote the late, great British journalist, editor of Punch, and raconteur Malcolm Muggeridge. He was attending a performance of Godspell with the archbishop of Canterbury when, at a climactic moment, … Continue reading

Posted in Hail Fredonia!, I Think I Know That Guy, I Used to Be a Superstar but Now I'm Just Me | 1 Comment

God Shuts Down GOP Convention with Water from the Sky

“I vow to bring an end to water from the sky,” declaimed Mitt Romney from an undisclosed location. “Water from the sky is the inevitable result of four years of the Obama administration’s wrongheaded fiscal policies.” Paul Ryan was unavailable … Continue reading

Posted in A Blood-Curdling Maniacal Laugh Is My Spiritual Gift, Another Year Another Credit Card Bill, Hail Fredonia! | 2 Comments

If You’re a Genius and You Know It, Clap One Hand

The value of your work as a scientist will now be evaluated Technorati-style — based on how many times someone links to it, literally or figuratively. Mormons are using their missionary positions in strangers’ homes. And get your mind out … Continue reading

Posted in Hail Fredonia!, I'm with Stupid, Infinite Human Capacity for Stupidity, Love American Style, Missing Links, Please Don't Touch Me There | Leave a comment

Pelosi Insists CIA Lied to Her About Waterboarding, ‘They Told Me It Was a Summer Sports Thing for Kids’

The Speaker of the House did not know what she did not know, because she had been informed that someone else had been informed about what she was supposed to know, which she didn’t know, except when she was told, … Continue reading

Posted in 2 + 2 = Whatever I Damn Well Say It Equals, Hail Fredonia!, Hand Me My Ear Muffles, I Have No Idea What You Just Said | 3 Comments

Russians Evoke Soviet Era with Military Parade in Red Square, Warn Enemies They Are Perfectly Capable of Destroying Economy, Human Rights, Just Like the Good Old Days

The official purpose of the gaudy display was the commemoration of the 64th anniversary of the Soviets’ victory over Nazi Germany. A reason to celebrate, I guess — although when your history left you with a choice between Adolf Hitler … Continue reading

Posted in "Entertainment", Hail Fredonia!, Infinite Human Capacity for Stupidity, This Is Why I Never Leave My Apartment | Leave a comment

Republicans in Congress Switch Party Affiliation En Masse in Radical Move to Regain Majority

Once Rush Limbaugh suggested that Senator McCain also jump the aisle, a growing number of other Republican Senators and Representatives joined together in a mass exodus to the promised land. One key Republican in Congress, who agreed to speak with … Continue reading

Posted in Failure Is the New Black, Hail Fredonia! | 1 Comment