RSS

Category Archives: 2 + 2 = Whatever I Damn Well Say It Equals

Math Can Hurt Your Brain but Only if You Think About It

It’s science!

University of Chicago researchers have discovered the fear of maths is linked to the experience of physical pain.

You don’t even have to start on a maths assignment – just the thought of it is enough to trigger pain, lead author Ian Lyons and his colleagues said in their paper: ‘Fear of math can hurt: Anxiety about math activates pain networks in brain’, published today in online journal PLOS ONE.

The researchers studied individuals who experienced high levels of anxiety when confronted with maths tasks. They discovered there was increased activity in the region of their brains which is associated with the physical sensation of pain.

The activity in that area of their brain increased the more anxious they became.

“Interestingly, this relation was not seen during math performance, suggesting that it is not that maths itself hurts; rather, the anticipation of maths is painful,” the researchers said.

First of all, what in the name of bison, moose, and aircraft is up with “maths”? Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s a British thing. But so was George III. What’s your point?

This “maths” business may be an example of an “isogloss,” which I believe can refer not only to distinctions in regional pronunciation but also word choice and form.

Which reminds me of a funny story: This man goes to visit the brain specialist, and—

 

Protestants No Longer a Majority in America, as Big Fat Nothings Soar!

Not really. But that’s what you’d think given some of the headlines.

Nevertheless, they don’t call it the Pew study for nothing: pee-euw! In the past five years, the percentage of Americans who identify as some kind of “Christian” has dropped by 5 percent, from 78% of the population to 73%. If this trend continues, by the year 4050, Christians will be a scant 64% of the population although I may be mistaken about that.

Here’s the chart so you can glean numbers at a glance:

Where did the dip in Christians come from? Protestantism. The most fissiparous ism of them all. Prot self-identifiers fell from 53% to 48%. Way to go, team!

Catholics dropped a percentage point, from 23% of Americans to 22%. Mormons and Eastern Orthodox held steady at 2% and 1% respectively.

The supposedly big story here is the number of “unaffiliated” — which grew from 11.6% to 13.9%. Yet, the overwhelming majority of the Nones are either convinced of the existence of God, or a Higher Power, or at least open to the possibility. So these folks are not to be construed as atheists — whose numbers, by the way, have grown minutely: from 1.6% of Americans to a whopping 2.4%, which is to say, from nothing to next to nothing. You would think they were half the population with all the attention they get.

Tthis chart describes the Unaffiliated/Disaffiliated/Nones in broad categories:

Also worth noting: 45% of the Nones attend worship services weekly, while another 35% attend monthly or annually. Only 18% described their attendance as “never” or “seldom.” (And 1% “didn’t know.” How do you not know? Are you awake? Earth to unaffiliated…)

So we are still a Christian nation to the extent that an overwhelming majority still self-identify as Christian. But we are no longer a Protestant nation. Except that more Americans identify as Protestant than as anything else. So we still kinda are. (Do only 6% of Americans really comprise “Other Faiths”? Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Sikhs, Scientologists, Jedi Knights, and, yes, Zoroastrians?)

To what can we attribute the disaffection from Protestantism? Whom can we blame? There’s always Satan and his minions. And the pope and his minions. And miserable filthy communists and their minions. And then there’s always the freelance minions who just like to cause trouble.

Personally, I blame Flannery O’Connor. Those stories of hers have been scaring off children now for more than half a century.

But do we need a scapegoat, really? Sure, it’s always fun to single out one person or group upon whom we can heap scorn and project our own inadequacies. Who doesn’t like that? But where does it get you in the end? Court dates and soiled khakis.

Perhaps Protestants need to craft a PR campaign before the next Pew Forum study, one that will both attract and retain.

Protestants: Busting Up the Joint Since 1517

Protestants: Protesting Means Never Having to Say You’re Semipelagian

Protestants: The Original Nonconformists

Protestants: No Longer Your Grandfather’s Mayonnaise Sandwich

Protestants: 33,000 Denominations and Counting!

 

For Those of You Who Have Been Counting the Cost … of Launching Your House into Space

I found a gizmo that allows you to plug in the square footage and the number of stories of your domicile and receive the round figure you’ve been struggling to calculate on your Texas Instrument. That figure will tell you how much it will cost to launch your home, and presumably your family, into space. Which you will need to do should the president win a second term.

It will cost me $896,000,000, which is really going to eat into my second-breakfast money…

 

Movie Protested for Depicting Hope for Public Schools

I WANTED JULIA ROBERTS FOR THAT ROLE! I’LL KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU!

Won’t Back Down, a movie depicting a crummy public school that’s apparently commandeered by a fed-up parent (Maggie Gyllenhaal) and a concerned teacher (Viola Davis), is not sitting well with some. It seems both unions and parent groups are enraged (cue Middle East stock footage) by the notion that it’s possible to take down the bureaucracy and the complacent unions and save poor kids from a life of minimum-wage jobs and penury and cue Rocky music.

During the film’s premiere at the Ziegfeld Theatre in midtown Manhattan, protestors gathered to scream at whoever would listen. They represented a group called

New Yorkers for Great Public Schools Coalition, an umbrella group of parents that gathered across the street. The protestors oppose the “parent trigger” laws that inspired the events of the film, through which parents can take over a failing school and possibly turn it into a charter school. Shouting “Move on over corporate takeover,” the group protested the film’s financial backers, right-wing billionaires Philip Anschutz (of Walden Media) and Rupert Murdoch (CEO of News Corporation).

But really NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who has clashed frequently with teachers’ unions. The unions are not crazy about the movie either. American Federation of Teachers head Randi Weingarten, a Bloomberg antagonist,

saw the movie after requesting a screening in August [and] remains unimpressed. “I’m glad they admit the movie is fiction,” she says. “No school has ever been transformed using a parent trigger law because parents agree that we should fix, not close, schools and [parents] don’t like the idea of turning their school over to private managers.”

As for the stars’ reactions, Gyllenhaal said

she came from “the most progressive left. I wouldn’t be allowed to go home for Thanksgiving if I made an anti-union movie.”

Wait a minute: her family is “most progressive left” and they celebrate Thanksgiving? What next? Christmas?

And the director, Daniel Barnz, added:

“The whole movie is about the benefits of protesting. There are many scenes of protesting in the film. I happen to know that what they’re protesting is different from what the movie is actually about. They’re here protesting parent trigger laws and as I explained to you this is not a parent trigger movie.” The film’s fictional law requires both parents and teachers to vote to take over the school.

Meanwhile, SAT scores nationwide are at a calamitously low level: just 43% of test takers are prepared for college. 

But just so long as everyone’s protesting. Because that’s what it’s all about. Adults jockeying for positions of power (cue Jaws music).

 

’60 Minutes’ Censors Interview with Obama, Cuts President’s Admission ‘I Kinda Liked Stars Wars: Episode 1′

So while being interviewed by 60 Minutes, President Obama apparently admitted to goofiness in some of his campaign ads. But for whatever reason, the producers of the award-winning news show, now in its 240th year, cut the clip from the final edit of the interview:

CBS describes the clip this way: “President Obama says some of his campaign ads might ‘go overboard’ or contain mistakes, but most of them simply highlight the differences between him and Gov. Romney.”

“Look, the fact-checkers have had problems with the ads on both sides,” Kroft says to Obama in the unaired clip, “and say they’ve been misleading and in some cases just not true. Does that disturb you? I mean, some of them are your ads.”

Obama responds: “Do we see sometimes us going overboard in our campaign, are there mistakes that are made, areas where there is no doubt somebody could dispute how we are presenting things? You know, that happens in politics.”

Kroft responds: “Aren’t the American entitled to the truth? Or a better version of it?”

Hardly a scandal, but one does wonder which commercials President Obama is alluding to. The one where it is claimed that “As president, I’ve had to make some tough decisions. Sending our men and women onto the shores of Normandy Beach proved the turning point of the war. But thanks to the work of Al Gore and Vice President Biden, our time machine, which the Republicans voted against, because they want time to stand still, enabled me to bring an end to a gruesome chapter in our history, which someone else was responsible for starting.”

And there was this one: “President Barack Obama’s increased funding of medical research enabled him to finally find a cure for the dreaded disease smallpox. If it were not for opposition in the House, which has declared communicable disease the only hope of ridding the world of the poor, he would be well on his way to curing the scourge of our time: big pox.”

A final commercial has the president narrating: “When I took office in August 2012, unemployment was 250%. The dead were piled in the streets. And women were chained to refrigerators and buried up to their necks in piles of dirty clothes so the flies could slowly bore away at their eyes. But in the past month, unemployment has dropped to single digits, the streets are free of rotting corpses, and women are employed in every sector of our society, public and private. With your help this November, I can continue to keep the Republicans at bay, who, if allowed, would send us back to the days of July 2012, when children were forced to work 80 hours a week making mayonnaise sandwiches for the wealthiest Americans; when no one had medical insurance, and so deaths from the common cold and hat hair were commonplace; and 12-year-olds had to buy their own birth control. Can we afford that?”

OK, a little over the top. But it’s the silly season. Romney’s promise to generate “endless free energy from my smile” isn’t exactly credible either.

 

Strange Quote of the Day: Ronald Reagan

One definition of an economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory.

 

McDonald’s to Post Calories so You’ll Know What’ll Kill You First

I don’t get this: Who goes to McDonald’s if you’re counting calories? OK, maybe you’re part of a group and your suggestion to eat at the Soy Shanty fell flat, and you forgot to bring along a baggie of bone meal and alfalfa. So you go salad. Chicken Sandwich and save the bun for an undiscriminating hobo. Diet soda. Small fries (230 calories).

But how does knowing that a McCheesyFlabBurger has 5,700 calories and enough fat to enter the quarterfinals at the Osaka Grand Sumo Tournament in any way going to help you, except possibly in the emergency room when the technician’s asking why there’s bacon grease on your chest?

And are you really going to work those calories off? Is there a jogging track that extends from your living room to Somalia so the pirates can chase you back?

If I’m going to indulge in the unspeakable glories of dead fried animals, please spare me the burden of having to do math.

 
 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 237 other followers

%d bloggers like this: