Moss: Like my Mum always says, you should never open the door.
Jen: What do you mean?
Moss: An unopened door is a happy door. So we never open ours when someone knocks.
Jen: What, so you’ll just sit there?
Jen: So the doorbell goes, and you’ll just sit there until the person goes away?
Jen: What if it’s important? What if it’s good news?
Moss: This is London, Jen. It’s not someone with cake. Unless that cake is made of dog poo and knives.
—Richard Ayoade and Katherine Parkinson, The IT Crowd,
Series 4, “The Final Countdown,” written by Graham Linehan