Note to self: Get more life insurance.

So France’s answer to National Lampoon and Punch has decided it’s seen enough sunrises, I guess…

The cover of Charlie Hebdo today shows a Muslim in a wheelchair being pushed by an Orthodox Jew under the title Intouchables 2, referring to an award-winning French film about a poor black man who helps an aristocratic quadriplegic.

Another cartoon on the back page of the weekly magazine shows a naked turbaned Mohammed exposing his posterior to a film director, a scene inspired by a 1963 film starring French film star Brigitte Bardot.

Charlie Hebdo’s website crashed today after being bombarded with comments that ranged from hate mail to approbation.

The magazine is no stranger to controversy over issues relating to Islam.

Last year it published an edition ”guest-edited” by Prophet Mohammed that it called Sharia Hebdo.

Oh these kids today, with their long hair and crazy music and mocking Muhammad…

So what can we expect? Cities in flames? Mushroom clouds over the horizon? A strongly worded letter to the editor?

Dalil Boubakeur, the senior cleric at Paris’s biggest mosque, appealed for France’s four million Muslims to remain calm.

I hear Xanax works wonders. But read the label for contraindications (for example, tell your doctor if you’re taking St. John’s Wort).

What I don’t get is the need to throw in the Orthodox Jewish figure (a rabbi?). How did Jews get mixed up in this controversy? What is Charlie Hebdo trying to prove, that it’s not just going after Muslim idols? But—again—is there a real equivalency there? Are we supposed to read a map of Israel on the guy’s face or something? Is this supposed to appease anti-Jewish Muslims? (Good luck with that: I’m sure they see a rabbi and Muhammad as six of one, half a dozen of the other.) Or can you never go wrong in Europe by taking shots at Jews whenever the occasion presents itself?

”I’m not asking strict Muslims to read Charlie Hebdo, just like I wouldn’t go to a mosque to listen to speeches that go against everything I believe.”

The magazine’s editor, originally a cartoonist who uses the name Charb, denied he was being deliberately provocative at a delicate time.

”The freedom of the press, is that a provocation?” he said.

Frankly, pissing people off just for the hell of it is not exactly … oh who am I kidding … it’s like what I do every day…

By the way, that film The Intouchables? It’s made $351 million worldwide. Looked like Driving Miss Daisy Hospice Edition. Guess not.

BREAKING: France is closing 20 embassies around the world. Because of the cartoons. Probably wise.