Ikea, which is Swedish for “disposable and interchangeable,” is going to design and construct a district in the German city of Hamburg. Why? Because Bangladesh said no.
Swedish furniture giant Ikea announced plans on Wednesday to build a brand-new district with shops, flats and office space for thousands of people in the northern German city of Hamburg.
“We want to build a new city district for the benefit of Hamburg,” Harald Mueller, head of the firm’s property subsidiary Landprop, told the local paper, the Hamburger Abendblatt.
Ah, good to know. I thought they had something against Hamburg and were determined to humiliate its inhabitants. (BTW: Hamburger Abendblatt is German for “I will gladly pay you Tuesday.”)
It gets worse. Eastenders will now film in an Ikea district all its own:
The Hamburger Abendblatt said the project would run along similar lines to a planned development in eastern London for which Ikea is preparing to build around 1,200 flats, offices, hotels and shops.
If you’re going to pull a stunt like this, why not go Italian? Sure, it’ll cost a hundred million billion trillion euros, and there will be 82 strikes, and it will be delayed three generations, but at least you’ll wind up with something classy.
I eagerly await entire cities, nay, nations designed and furnished entirely by Mar-Stans Unpainted Furniture: “If it’s painted, it’s not ours. Hence the name.”