Isaac Newton Punched His Sister. Thought You Should Know.

And he called Dorothy Rose a jade. But who hasn’t? Rose was the town bicycle.

What’s this about? you may be asking at this point. Seems the great scientist had a sensitive conscience and kept a “debtor’s ledger” of his sins while at Cambridge.

Among his infractions: “Having uncleane thoughts words and actions and dreamese” and “Using Wilford’s towel to spare my own.”

One can forgive a young man his unclean thoughts. Any young man who hasn’t had unclean thoughts needs to see a doctor immediately. But to use another’s towel just to spare his own! I don’t care if it did belong to a boy with a ludicrous name. It’s just not done.

I shall never look upon gravity with the same gravity again. (And by the way, did he at least wipe away his unclean thoughts with Wilford’s towel?)

Surf over to the Newton Project, and you will find out more about the state of Newton’s soul than you can possibly digest. For example, the little fratboy actually admits to “Squirting water on Thy day.” A Sabbath breaker! Mon dieu!


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One thought on “Isaac Newton Punched His Sister. Thought You Should Know.

  1. what is with that hair and that facial expression? My gaydar is screaming at me that the man shared more than his towel…

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