So yesterday I received in the mail a card from the Board of Elections in the City of New York. It was forwarded from my old address and marked SPECIAL ELECTION NOTICE. It seems there is to be an election held on  Tuesday, September 13, for the 9th Congressional District seat.

The 9th was Anthony Weiner’s seat. Yes, ex-Representative Weiner was our congressman. What an honor, no?

What should have been a lock for a Democratic candidate is turning out to be a nail-biter. Alana Goodman, over at Contentions, had this to say:

The race for Anthony Weiner’s seat is now neck-and-neck, as President Obama continues to be a political liability in the reliably Democratic district. The Democratic candidate David Weprin has spent the past month trying to distance himself from the president, but apparently Organizing for America director Jeremy Bird didn’t get the hint. He sent out an email blast last week calling on Obama supporters to stump for his “strong ally” Weprin. …

Now, my SPECIAL ELECTION NOTICE comes in several strange and exotic languages. How do I know that there isn’t a secret message buried in one of these scripts, something like “Vote for Weprin or a puppy dies”? Or “If the 9th goes Republican, garbage pickup is suspended indefinitely”?

I can’t vote in this race anyway. If I could, and the Prohibition Party was not running a candidate, I’d resort to Plan B: write in “The nice lady who helps my at the Stop N Shop.” She has been a candidate in more races than Eugene V. Debs, Harold Stassen, Lyndon LaRouche, and Pat Paulsen combined.