Actually, he’s suing UA for getting him all liquored up, which “caused” him to lose control and smack his poor wife around:

Fortified with Burgundy wine allegedly supplied at 20-minute intervals by United crew members during the December 2006 trip, Yoichi Shimamoto became so inebriated “that he could not manage himself,” according to a lawsuit filed Dec. 5 in U.S. District Court in Tampa.

Shimamoto was arrested, accused of disorderly conduct and battery after he struck his wife, Ayisha, six times, injuring her face and upper lip as they were heading through U.S. Customs in San Francisco, the complaint said.

First of all, I find it hard to believe that any airline would provide a passenger with anything in 20-minute intervals. These days, you’re lucky if they throw a cardboard cutout of Mr. Peanut at your head three hours into the flight …

All I know is, when I drink at that rate, I start to cry and flop around and sing silly love songs, then fall fast asleep. Of course, I don’t drink alcohol, only Swiss Miss, with just a dollop of honey. Not sure why it affects me like that … maybe it’s because the Swiss lady looks so cold and lonely …